sweet dreams are made of cheese
who am I to diss a brie
I cheddar the world and the feta cheese
Reasons I grab my boobs
- running upstairs
- running downstairs
- stoked on life
- walking through my house in the dark
HOW THE FUCK ARE THESE BABIES SWIMMING I AM 21 AND CANNOT SWIM THIS IS SOME FUCK SHIT
Babies instinctively know when to hold their breathes!
Babies are amazing
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? I HAVE TO HOLD MY NOSE AND THIS BABY DOESN’T HAVE TOO!?
What shitty parent discovered this
babies are naturally able to swim hello they just spent nine moths in amiotic fluid this is instinctive so no, parent is not shitty, parent is re-enforcing baby’s natural instinctive behaviour.
parent is good for doing this because parent is basically saying “yes the behaviours you were born with are great!”
Yup, if babies are ‘taught’ (allowed) to swim before they are six weeks old, they never lose the instincts they were born with that lets them hold their head above water and hold their breath when they need to. SCIENCE, man.
i remember hearing my elementary teacher talking about the different ethnic groups and she talked about how the Badjao people, who are primarily sea-dwelling and nomadic, teach their kids how to swim by tossing the small babies into the water because a baby’s first instinct was to swim. I dunno how accurate she was but the Badjao are amazing swimmers
i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
my boob hurts
google says it’s cancer
my gravestone will say death by boob
ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
money doesnt buy happiness but i cant say id be upset in the least bit if i suddenly inherited 5 million dollars
A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”
So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are already legalizing same-sex marriage.
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me